The Art of Backstabbing

Growing up with a close relationship to my older brother was a lot of fun. From waking up early to play Skylanders, to playing with Hot Wheels for hours, to staying up past our bed time to play football in our room and getting yelled at by our dad, my brother and I always did everything together. We were inseparable. A lot of sibling relationships are built around frequent fighting and hatred. But my relationship with my brother was the perfect definition of what it means to be brothers. Our sibling relationship was as close as Will and Jonathan Byers in Stranger Things. Entering high school, things between us were a lot different. He changed. In what I think was a bad way. From doing everything together, to now avoiding me in the school hallways like I was a zombie. Apparently I wasn’t “cool” enough to be seen with him. It was as if he was ashamed to have a little brother. In fact, he didn’t even tell his college roommate that he had a brother! Our relationship was thrown away and lost in the past. He developed this self-centered mindset where I was just an annoying little kid. I felt backstabbed. Even though in that moment I did feel betrayed by my brother, it doesn’t affect me to a large extent. Obviously I’m still able to move on in life, but for others, such as Jivan in A Burning, betrayal either means life or death. Sometimes the ones who we develop strong relationships with aren’t actually who they seem. While establishing strong bonds with the ones we love initially builds trust and compassion, ultimately, it can result in and develop into betrayal and selfishness.

            Before innocent Jivan was falsely accused of a terrorist attack she established a good connection between herself and PT Sir, as well as Lovely. As PT Sir’s old student, their relationship sprouted as a result of PT Sir’s kindhearted actions. When Jivan fainted during class due to the intolerable heat, instead of punishing her, PT Sir provided her with “several pieces of ruti folded in triangles, and vegetables.” After this incident, Jivan described how “PT Sir kept an eye on me.” He frequently provided her with support and encouragement. In fact, he would continue to secretly give Jivan “some bread and jam, or a banana.” To reciprocate, Jivan “participated enthusiastically” during class. Overall, Jivan and PT Sir built a strong relationship through caring for each other. PT Sir cared for her health and in return Jivan cared for his class. Although PT Sir was a little annoyed by the fact that Jivan never formally thanked him, they still developed a strong student-teacher relationship. At least that’s what I thought. Their relationship started off with trust and care for each other but it would eventually lead to betrayal and selfishness. Since PT Sir has interacted with Jivan before, he was one of the main witnesses who could help save Jivan from being wrongly convicted of terrorism. Despite having a strong past relationship, PT Sir essentially stops fighting to help Jivan in order to focus on his own career. Because of this, PT Sir finds success in his political party while Jivan is sentenced to death as a terrorist. In essence, the initially positive relationship between PT Sir and Jivan lead to PT Sir to act in his own self-interest and throw Jivan under the bus just like how Luca betrayed Alberto in Disney and Pixar’s Luca. Although Luca and PT Sir had a strong connection with their friends, they both decided to act selfishly and backstab their friends to benefit themselves in the future. This shows that PT Sir chose helping himself and pursuing success in his future over a long term bond with his former student. His greedy decision determined the fate of Jivan. PT Sir was blinded with selfishness, so much to the point where he couldn’t see that Jivan was the one who truly needed a savior in her life. 

            Unfortunately, this instance is the same with Lovely. Jivan takes time out of her day to go visit Lovely and teach her English. Through Jivan’s assistance with English, they develop a meaningful connection with each other. As Jivan continues to teach Lovely English they begin to build trust for one another and they view themselves as good friends. But apparently this didn’t mean anything to Lovely. Lovely’s testimony against Jivan’s terrorism trial is important towards saving Jivan. Lovely has the decision between speaking up and saving a friend’s life or pursuing her acting career. Lovely decides to throw their strong friendship in the trash in order to pursue her own goals in acting. And Jivan is left to die. Lovely became so self-absorbed in her own life that she forgot about the past friendship and strong bond with Jivan. Similar to PT Sir’s connection with Jivan, Lovely and Jivan’s relationship reveal how relationships with friends or loved ones start off as a powerful bond built around kindness and trust, but then become destroyed due to selfishness and betrayal. Overall, both Lovely and PT Sir’s bright relationships with Jivan are thrown out the window due to betrayal and self-centered actions and decisions. Lovely and PT Sir find happiness and success in their own careers. But at what cost? Jivan is left with two knives in her back and a death sentence. All because of personal greed. 

Instead of choosing to help Jivan at her trial, both PT Sir and Lovely betray her in order to save their own dreams but they don’t realize that Jivan is the one who needs to be saved 

            Furthermore, this recurring theme of betrayal can also be noticed in “Saving Sourdi”. Similar to Jivan’s relationships with Lovely and PT Sir, Nea’s sibling relationship with Sourdi starts off as a strong bond but unravels into betrayal. In the beginning, Nea admires Sourdi and constantly expresses her intimacy with her older sister. Nea illustrates how they would “lie awake all night whispering back and forth” and that she would “climb into Sourdi’s bed…curling into a ball” besides her older sister when she was unable to fall asleep. Additionally, they were so close that Nea wanted Sourdi to be her legal guardian in the future. This would all change. When Sourdi continues to mature, she chooses her own life over Nea and pushes Nea away. As a result, the pain of being backstabbed circles through Nea’s head. She states, “I knew that I couldn’t trust my sister to take my side anymore…she made her choice, and she hadn’t chosen me.” Ultimately, Nea’s dialogue creates a hopeless tone to effectively convey this overall theme of betrayal. After everything Nea did to protect Sourdi and maintain their close relationship she lost trust in Sourdi. Everything Nea did for Sourdi meant absolutely nothing. She was betrayed. Their relationship began with an unbreakable connection that was then corrupted by self-centeredness and betrayal. Sourdi decided to only focus on her on life rather than her everlasting sibling relationship with Nea. As Sourdi and Nea grew up together, a compelling bond was formed that resulted in a lot of trust and love between them, but at the same time it lead to Sourdi’s selfish actions that essentially tore their sibling tie apart. Nea is left with a gaping wound in her back that she will carry with her for the rest of her life. 

Ted and Coach Beard’s friendship in Ted Lasso

          I’m not trying to say that ALL relationships are plagued with selfishness and betrayal, because obviously there are some happy relationships such as Buzz and Woody in Toy Story or Ted and Beard in Ted Lasso. If all relationships were like theirs then we’d live in the perfect society. Ultimately, these flaws in Nea and Sourdi’s relationship and PT Sir and Lovely’s relationship with Jivan emphasize that it is possible for initially strong healthy relationships to result in and turn into betrayal and selfishness. PT Sir, Lovely, and Sourdi all acted in their own self-interest in order to find personal success and benefit themselves in the future. In consequence, loved ones and friends were pushed away and left to suffer. Enduring relationships were left to rot in the past. Excruciating stab wounds were left in the backs of innocent loved ones who once possessed a beautiful relationship.